What are Plato's views on Democracy?

(Translation from the original Latin : Bondicus Maximus Climaticus With a tendency towards Lubricus)

Pink fluffy handcuffs and bondage equipment were thought to be particularly effective in this field of politics. As everyone knows Socrates was fond of a good whipping and had a very strong right wrist. He enjoyed a handshake with a familiar friend on a regular basis when the whipping boy lost his cream. Plato enjoyed shafting sheep but was considered bisexual because he also shafted goats. Aristotle liked to watch three women shag a horse whilst smearing himself in marmite and peanut butter and watching Socrates have a wank whilst dressed as a French maid. Asterix and Obelix used to join in the mad frenzy whenever they could get away from Caesar's wild sexual urges. Homer was feeling horny but horny wasn't willing to submit himself to homer's perverted fantasy with snakes. Russo was jealous of Socrates lovely French maid getup but had to content himself with a grass skirt and a nice knobbly twig. Locke loved to take it up the fudge tunnel of love and had used to have to clean his purple headed cheese warrior on the pubic hair of Hobbes' famous white coated love cannon whilst Hobbes was firing blanks at the nearest hamster and cursing the fact that duct tape hadn't been invented yet.

A flash of light and a blue box with a HUGE flashing knob on the top appeared. A large crack slowly spread its way down the side of the box and a grey figure emerged. "Errrm Norma, I don't think this is Scunthorpe..." Having seen the armadildos this grey figure let out a wild cry and began to rip the clothing from his hairy, throbbing body. Sweat glistened off of his back as he strained to open the shell using only his middle leg. "What was that?" came a voice from the dark depths of the box as a medium sized ugly female emerged dressed only in an itsybitsyteenyweenyyellowpolkadot turban and matching G-string. Plato withdrew from the goat, let its rear legs free from his wellies and let out a primordial lecherous cry of glee. The MUF (Medium-sized Ugly Female) let out a scream and ran in the opposite direction only to be blocked by the goat who was wearing a fetching pair of fishnet holdups. The goat winked and extended its pink, fluffy, wet tongue and began to mow the MUF's lawn.

Plato crept up behind the MUF and let his Retractable Steel Joint inspect the black hole of Calcutta. The MUF squeeked and squelched a couple of times before grabbing hold of the goats extendible baton and twisting savagely to try and pick up Radio 4. The goat lowered its head and drove its horns into the centre of Plato's munitions dump. Plato cried out and drove deeper into the forest of MUF.

Upon seeing this extraordinary spectacle the Grey figure moved towards the scene with the shell of an armadildo hanging down from the end of his one eyed snake, but was intercepted by Homer who shoved a snake where the Sun never shines. The Grey figure's meat and two veg responded by sending the armadildo flying straight up into the air trailing love custard.

An ordinary day in 420 BC (Before Chains)

Ludicrous Sextus IV

Ludicrous Sextus IV

Page written by Alison Matthias, story written by Alison Matthias, Bob Vale and Sara Jenkinson.
Last revised: May 20, 1998.